Easter, Men, Mortality: The Grace of Finishing Well

By Mark C. McCann

To be a real man is to face one’s own mortality, to stare down our human frailty as we walk ever closer toward the dark valley of the shadow of death. How we prepare for our journey to the other side of the grave is an important part of what it means to be a man of faith. And how we deal with the death of another human being can witness to the world of whether or not we are who we say we are in Christ. During the seasons of Lent, Easter, and Pentecost, we have a blessed opportunity as Catholic men to meditate on the life, death, and resurrection of Jesus and share the story of his loving sacrifice with those who believe and those who are still seeking the Savior.

Last year, I had the honor of attending the Mass of Christian Burial for Dennis Sullivan, the brother of our Connecticut Catholic Men’s Conference Chaplain, Father Jim Sullivan, at St. Hedwig Church in Naugatuck, Connecticut. It was one of the most beautiful services I have ever experienced. Every detail of the Mass was meticulously and lovingly planned, from the music to the message, the eulogy to the Eucharist. What moved me the most was that Father Jim himself celebrated the Mass and Dennis’ daughter Marissa gave a beautiful and tearful tribute to her father at the end. The faith of these two family members truly gave testimony to the Gospel and to the One who brought Dennis home to heaven.

Men, Mortality and the Mass

As a man, I have never been very good with grief. Both my parents died suddenly, almost a year apart from each other: my mother from complications during surgery to correct damage from chemotherapy, and my father from a diabetic episode. I remember the crushing grief, the crises of faith I faced with family members as we dealt with the shock of our loss, and numbness of spirit as I helped to plan the services – a Mass for my mother, and a memorial service for my father. There were many tears, words of consolation we all spoke to one another, and expressions of faith that reminded us of the power of the cross to mitigate the finality and the sorrow associated with death.

As I sat in the pew the day of Dennis’ funeral Mass, I remember thinking about both my parents and how I had handled the intensity of the loss I felt. It was strange being there and knowing almost no one. But the minute the Mass began, I was immediately drawn into the richness of the celebration of this man’s life, even as I saw the sorrow on the faces of family members and friends. The old familiar signs were a comfort to me: the holy water and the white covering for the casket, the baptismal candle and the vestments of the clergy celebrating the Mass, the hymns of hope sung with grace and dignity, the readings and prayers pointing to the resurrection, and the Eucharist that called to mind the death of the One who had conquered death for us all.

Wonderful Words of Love

I did not know Dennis, and have only begun to know his brother; but in listening to Father Jim share a powerful message during the homily, I felt as though I had entered into a relationship with this extraordinary man as well. Father Jim shared a lifetime of beautiful memories in those few minutes: how his brother loved shoeing horses and sharing his life with people; how he made time for faith, family, and friends; how he worked and lived and cared for others as to the Lord; and most of all, how he finished well.

What was most beautiful about this homily was that Father Jim was not just telling the story of the life of his brother, but he was telling the eternal story of the Gospel as lived out perfectly by Son of God as well. He brought a couple horseshoes with him, which he held up – one facing up as a reminder of the blessings Dennis and all of us who believe in Christ receive, and one facing down, as a symbol of the Greek letter Omega, calling us to consider how we are commanded to follow Christ, the end of all our longings, from faith to faith. Just as the Savior lived, love, died, and rose from the dead, so too were we called to live lives of day-to-day self-giving love for the world. The end for Dennis, as for each one of those who call themselves Catholic, was summed up in the life Jesus Christ lived to the fullest, a life given in a perfect sacrifice for us all.

A Man Who Finishes Well

At the end of the Mass, I listened as Dennis’s daughter Marissa shared a deeply loving tribute to her father. Her words were authentic and inspirational because they reflected not a perfect life, but a man who longed for perfection. Dennis Sullivan lived his life to the fullest, never slowing down when he suffered an illness that some say should have taken his life much earlier. He took the extra years God had given him and loved his daughter, his family, and all those around him well. His was a faithful, sacrificial love that took all that he was: his triumphs and struggles, his passion for his work and his love for the Lord, and poured it all out through his words and actions every single day. Whether he was shoeing a horse, visiting a friend, or attending Sunday evening Mass, it was all a matter of returning to the Savior what had been given to him at the cross. Dennis Sullivan did indeed finish well.

Father Jim brought a collection of horseshoes from his brother’s home and asked each person present to take one as a reminder of the blessings of Christ and his call to finish well. I did not take a horseshoe so that there would be enough for those who truly knew Dennis to a greater degree. As the Mass ended, I watched the family and friends move out of the church solemnly, sharing words and hugs and tears with one another. I slipped quietly away to return home, taking with me the memories of that day and the beautiful lessons I had learned, lessons that I have carried with me into this sacred season of death and rebirth.

What Kind of Man Are You?

As I drove home to my family that day, I reflected a great deal on message of the Mass. I thought about the many blessings in my life God has given me: my wife and children and their love for me, my health, my gifts, and most of all, my faith. But I also thought seriously about my own journey toward heaven and the journey my Savior made to the hill of Calvary for me and for the world. That evening, I prayed to my Father that I too might finish well.

As you experience the power and presence of Christ in his resurrection as we celebrate Easter, Pentecost and the days to come, I hope you will consider what it means to love, to grow in your relationship with one another in Jesus, and to be a man who finishes well. I hope also that you will spend time in fellowship with your family of faith as you add your own unique story to the story of salvation lived out perfectly by the Lord Jesus Christ. I pray you find time to reconcile with the Lord in Confession, celebrate the death of our Savior at Mass, and continue to await his coming on the Last Day. As you consider your own mortality, may you seek out the One who walked the road of death and came out on the other side, the One who calls us all to finish well.

God Bless!

The Regular Catholic Guy

This is a guest post by Mark C. McCann. Mark’s website is http://www.wordsnvisions.com/. Mark is the author of the recently released series for men entitled To the Ends of the Earth.